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Food & Drink dad jokes

Food puns are the gateway groaner. These 12 clean jokes cover cheese, coffee, pasta and a very sad strawberry, and every one is safe to read out at the dinner table.

Food & Drink
What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
Punchline 🥁

Nacho cheese.

Food & Drink
Why did the coffee file a police report?
Punchline 🥁

It got mugged.

Food & Drink
I only know 25 letters of the alphabet.
Punchline 🥁

I don't know y.

Food & Drink
Why don't eggs tell jokes?
Punchline 🥁

They'd crack each other up.

Food & Drink
What did the grape do when it got stepped on?
Punchline 🥁

Nothing, it just let out a little wine.

Food & Drink
How do you make a lemon drop?
Punchline 🥁

Let it fall.

Food & Drink
What do you call a fake noodle?
Punchline 🥁

An impasta.

Food & Drink
Why did the baker go to work early?
Punchline 🥁

He kneaded the dough.

Food & Drink
What do you call a sad strawberry?
Punchline 🥁

A blueberry.

Food & Drink
Why did the tomato turn red?
Punchline 🥁

It saw the salad dressing.

Food & Drink
Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
Punchline 🥁

It felt crummy.

Food & Drink
What's brown and sticky?
Punchline 🥁

A stick.

More dad jokes: Top 10 best · Animals · Around the House · Wordplay · Dad Life · Things Dad always said · Father's Day messages

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Why food puns are the gateway groaner

Food puns are where most people's dad joke journey starts. Everyone knows what cheese, coffee, pasta and eggs are, so a pun on any of them lands instantly, and they're safe to tell at any meal. "Nacho cheese" and "an impasta" have been groaned at around dinner tables for years.

These 12 jokes cover cheese, coffee, pasta, baking, fruit and a very sad strawberry. Every one is clean, which makes them a good fit for school lunches, family dinners and barbecues.

Tips for telling a food joke at the table

Mealtimes are the perfect stage:

  • Wait until everyone has a mouthful, then deliver the setup. A delayed groan is a loud groan.
  • Use what's in front of you. If there's pasta on the table, "What do you call a fake noodle?" almost tells itself.
  • Keep one in your pocket for restaurants. Waiters have heard them all, and they'll still groan if you commit.

What's on the menu

  • Dairy and baking: the cheese that isn't yours, the baker who kneaded the dough and the cookie that felt crummy.
  • Drinks: the coffee that got mugged and the grape that let out a little wine.
  • Fruit and veg: the lemon drop, the tomato that saw the salad dressing and the sad strawberry.
  • Wild cards: the 25-letter alphabet, the eggs that won't tell jokes and the brown and sticky stick.

Keep the groaning going