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Best dad jokes: our top 10 groaners

Ten of the best clean dad jokes from our collection of 60, with the punchline one tap away. Hit Groan on your favourites to save them on this device.

#1 · Around the House
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Punchline 🥁

He was outstanding in his field.

#2 · Food & Drink
What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
Punchline 🥁

Nacho cheese.

#3 · Animals
What do you call a magician dog?
Punchline 🥁

A labracadabrador.

#4 · Wordplay
Time flies like an arrow.
Punchline 🥁

Fruit flies like a banana.

#5 · Food & Drink
What do you call a fake noodle?
Punchline 🥁

An impasta.

#6 · Animals
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
Punchline 🥁

A gummy bear.

#7 · Around the House
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.
Punchline 🥁

It's impossible to put down.

#8 · Wordplay
I used to be a banker,
Punchline 🥁

but I lost interest.

#9 · Around the House
What do you call a belt made of watches?
Punchline 🥁

A waist of time.

#10 · Dad Life
What do you call a dad who fell through thin ice?
Punchline 🥁

A Pop-sicle.

Browse all 60 by category: Food & Drink · Animals · Around the House · Wordplay · Dad Life

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How we picked the top 10

For now this list is our own pick. We chose jokes that work when you say them out loud, need no setup and are safe to tell in front of anyone from a five-year-old to a grandparent. We also made sure the list covers food, animals, the house, wordplay and dad life, so there is something for every kind of groan.

The number under each joke is how many readers have given it a Groan. The Groan button also saves your favourites in your own browser. Once enough groans have come in, we'll re-rank this list by the most groaned-at jokes.

What makes a great dad joke?

  • A pun at the heart of it. The best ones twist a word or phrase, like kneaded the dough or outstanding in his field.
  • Short and clean. One setup, one punchline and nothing you'd have to explain to the kids.
  • A groan, not a laugh. If the room rolls its eyes, the joke has done its job.

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