DDad Said…Groans guaranteed
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Around the House dad jokes

Brooms, hammers, bicycles and light bulbs: 12 dad jokes about the stuff lying around the house and shed, perfect for the dad who fixes everything with a pun.

Around the House
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Punchline 🥁

He was outstanding in his field.

Around the House
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Punchline 🥁

Nothing, it just waved.

Around the House
Why did the picture go to jail?
Punchline 🥁

It was framed.

Around the House
What do you call a belt made of watches?
Punchline 🥁

A waist of time.

Around the House
Why was the math book sad?
Punchline 🥁

It had too many problems.

Around the House
I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes.
Punchline 🥁

She gave me a big hug.

Around the House
Why did the bicycle fall over?
Punchline 🥁

It was two tired.

Around the House
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Punchline 🥁

Between us, something smells.

Around the House
Why was the broom late?
Punchline 🥁

It over-swept.

Around the House
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.
Punchline 🥁

It's impossible to put down.

Around the House
Why do hammers make great friends?
Punchline 🥁

They always nail it.

Around the House
Why did the lightbulb fail its test?
Punchline 🥁

It wasn't too bright.

More dad jokes: Top 10 best · Food & Drink · Animals · Wordplay · Dad Life · Things Dad always said · Father's Day messages

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Dad jokes about the house, the shed and everything in them

Everyday household objects are comedy gold for dads. A broom that runs late, a hammer that always nails it and a picture that goes to jail because it was framed are all jokes built from things you can see from where you're sitting. That makes them easy to remember and easy to tell on the spot.

Several of these also double as jokes you can improvise around the house. Spot a bike lying on its side and you already have the setup for "two tired".

How to get the best groan from a household joke

Props make these jokes land harder:

  • Point at the object while you tell the joke. A bicycle, a lightbulb or a hammer in hand turns a pun into a bit.
  • Save the punchline for when someone is mid-task. The groan is louder when they're holding a screwdriver.
  • For the longer setups ("I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes") say the first line casually and let the silence do the work.

What's in this collection

  • Tools and shed: hammers that always nail it, a broom that over-swept and a lightbulb that wasn't too bright.
  • Classic one-liners: the scarecrow that was outstanding in his field and the belt made of watches (a waist of time).
  • Around the family: the sad maths book, the wife's big hug and the left eye with a message for the right.
  • Outdoor and fun: the ocean that just waved and the bicycle that was two tired.

Keep the groaning going